Actually I had no intention on writing tonight (yes, it’s 8.30 pm already). Something clung to my mind, however. And I need to warn myself that this isn’t one simple thing to be talked about. I don’t even expect to talk about this with my family because this isn’t familiar to us. I bet they’d get muddled if I explained everything that I’ve just read and watched.
Yup, I’m learning LGBT from literature and short clips rendered by youtube. I knew that my sister had a best gay friend but they never really talked about their sexuality. Or maybe she just kept it as their confidential matter.
To be honest, I was bewildered at first knowing some people were born this way. I assume you’d roll your eyes and say ‘Duh!‘ But let me clarify that I learned things socially, not scientifically. Most probably I think this way because I’m a student of social science. And we, or I, believe that life is socially constructed. Everything; from your gadgets that you need to place beside your pillow, your morning activities, your food, your voice, including the way you take a stride; is affected by your social environment. I became boyish because I had more boy friends when I was younger. I began to exhibit my passion for make-up (I’d really like to share my view on make-up in this blog some time later) after observing my girl friends applying “beauty” powders and creams to their bodies later on my puberty years. I concluded that our social life is a scheme, constructed by the people, made for the people. Not to exclude the way we fall in love.
I believed in this theory because I had had experiences on how I get myself adoring (or having a crush on) someone too. There was a list of criteria that I was certain I should never neglect; that person had to be a boy; around my age; not a close relative; preferably not shorter than I am; someone witty; not my best friend (it would ruin our friendship); and so and so. Once I had a crush on my cousin, and once I had a crush on one of my close friends. All I did was denying that feeling. No way I could or should like them. Ignoring this feeling would be the best thing for me, and us. After some hard battles with my ego I successfully threw away those feeling. I never had that kind of feeling again whenever I met them.
So I thought, if it worked for me, why not for everybody else?
I thought someone became gay because they could not suppress his or her feeling like I did.
I had to change my perception. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t that right. Some people were born different. Or indeed, everyone was born different. Just like myself who was born with distinct physical features, different natural talents and a unique heart. We can never say it’s a deviant thing to be unique. According to the books and the videos I’ve seen so far, some people feel like they’re trapped in wrong bodies. What’s worse is that the majority, the “normal ones,” perceive this as “disgusting,” “against nature,” “morally wrong,” and “something that God hates.”
Socially abusing a person merely due to his or her difference is a disgusting act, morally wrong and something that God hates (It’s probably against nature as well. I don’t know. I’m a social scientist. My excuse). LGBT people struggle to accept their identity and struggle to let it open. They strife to get acceptance from people around them, including their families. What if we put them into isolation? Or what if we are isolated from everyone, simply after showing everyone who we really are? Would we want to see that happen? Sadly, it happens already. I wish we could change our minds and be open, as the citizens of “civilized” states.
Oh ya, if you could give me good references on LGBT culture, do tell me. I’d appreciate it. I’m still learning too.